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How to Have Grace for Yourself in Motherhood

  • Writer: Alexandra Jensen
    Alexandra Jensen
  • Apr 29
  • 4 min read

Updated: Apr 30

Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given. John 1:16

Practicing grace in motherhood involves releasing the pressure of perfectionism, prioritizing self-care without guilt, and accepting that you are enough. It means embracing the mess, realizing it’s only a season, celebrating small victories, setting boundaries with your time and energy, and forgiving yourself for mistakes. Key approaches include asking for and accepting help, prioritizing rest and resetting, focusing on connection over perfection, and allowing yourself the freedom to feel your feelings.


Here are specific ways to practice grace for yourself in motherhood:


  • Let Go of Perfectionism: Accept that you cannot do it all and that your worth is not based on your performance. Realize that a messy house often means a full life, and your children care more about your presence than a perfectly organized home. Remember, grace isn't perfect. It's choosing presence. Again and again.

  • Prioritize Self-Care Without Guilt: Self-care is not selfish; it makes you a better parent. Take time for hobbies, rest, or breaks (like a walk, shopping alone, or spending time at a coffee shop) to fill your own cup, enabling you to pour into others. Intentionally make time for whatever is life-giving to you.

  • Forgive Your Mistakes: When you lose your temper or drop the ball, repair the situation by apologizing—to your child or spouse, or to yourself—and move forward. Treat yourself with the same compassion you would offer a friend.

  • Celebrate Small Victories: Focus on what you are doing well rather than measuring yourself against others. Acknowledge daily successes, even if they seem small.

  • Ask for and Accept Help: You do not have to carry the load alone. Utilize your spouse, friends, or family to care for your children, allowing you time to rest and reset. When someone offers to help, say “yes” whenever possible.

  • Stay Present, Not Perfect: Your children want a present, engaged mom rather than a perfect one. Focus on daily moments of connection rather than striving for perfection. God loves you, flaws and all, and your family does too.

  • Use Prayer: Use prayer to manage stress, release guilt, and connect with a sense of peace and divine grace, recognizing that God's grace covers your shortcomings. We can “be still” and rest in God’s ultimate authority as Psalm 46:10 describes.

  • Practice Mindfulness: Embrace your reality rather than thinking about or wishing you were doing something else. This can be hard as a mom when often our reality is far from glamorous. But by focusing on the task at hand and giving it our full attention, whatever it may be—dishes, folding clothes, pushing a child in a swing, nursing a baby—give it your heart by giving it your attention, and it can become rewarding. 

  • Express Gratitude: Gratitude is a great way to rewire our brains and turn our hearts toward the light of God’s goodness in our everyday lives. Research shows that in as little as 3 weeks, consistent gratitude journaling can alter our mood in a positive way.

  • Validate Your Feelings: Different from gratitude, there is such a thing as “Toxic Positivity,” which is unhealthy. We should feel our feelings so that we can release them and give them over to God. One way this can be accomplished in a way that is healthy and not burdensome to others is through Honest Journaling. Explore your honest emotions and write down your true thoughts. Rip up the paper after if that feels safer. Do what you need to feel your feelings so that you are no longer wrestling with the beach ball, trying to submerge your thoughts. What happens to a beach ball after it has been shoved deep under the water for a period of time? It explodes out of the water like a rocket. The same is true with our hard, honest thoughts and feelings. If we try to shove them down, then they will likely explode in an unexpected moment in an unhealthy way. And when we try to shove down our emotions, we are actually wrestling with them even more. That is why it is so important that we explore our honest emotions in a healthy way: through honest journaling, in prayer, through therapy, and through the filter of God's Word, so that we can be set free.


Practicing grace is a daily, intentional choice to trust yourself and live in the freedom of knowing you are doing the best you can with the time, energy, and capacity you have. Giving ourselves grace can become a gift to our families and us when we fully embrace it. 

You are worth it! Jesus died on a wooden cross to tell you so. While we don’t deserve it, Jesus’ desire is for us to live in the freedom of His grace.



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